The sun rises after the most dramatic night yet on Love Island. Joe and Elma have received their marching orders. Everyone immediately forgets Elma ever existed. But Lucie is traumatised by Joe’s exit. Joe may feel the same, having been bundled off to an ITV2 safe house amid a viewer backlash against his “manipulative” behaviour.
This provides the emotional core of the episode. And if the words “emotional core” and Love Island don’t sound as wildly contradictory as they should it’s perhaps because Lucie’s hurt feels so raw and genuine.
But we’re soon moving on, with the focus on Michael and Amber’s first date. We’re told this has gone swimmingly – not least by Michael. Alas, Amber doesn’t appear to share his enthusiasm. Elsewhere Anna and Jordan take their relationship to the next level by exchanging saliva on the swinging couch. Aaaah… is that something in your eye?
We’ll tell you what’s true. You can form your own view.
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Yes, a glob of Tom’s hair-gel after his head snaps back upon hearing Maura inform everyone she isn’t really into him (or words to that effect). Here are the talking points.
1. Is Love Island pushing Lucie too far?
Joe has been accused of controlling behaviour against Lucie during his stint in the villa. But now he’s gone she’s really, horribly upset. Whenever we see her, Lucie’s eyes are raw, her cheeks streaked with tears. She is unrecognisable from the cheery surfer who joined the contest and tried to get everyone to say “bevvy”. Reality television is all about peeling away the “artifice” and bringing us the inner vulnerability. But this feels cruel.
2. Is Michael is the happiest man in Mallorca?
The answer is obviously yes. He and Amber go on a date and kiss for .00003 of a second. But that’s better than no kiss at all and Michael returns to the villa several inches taller. He’s smiling more than all the other male contestants put together. Of course, that’s not really an achievement considering the competition includes partnerless Anton and Danny, who is fed up with Yewande for not being completely besotted with him.
1/20 Lucie trying – and failing – to make ‘bev’ happen
Love Island is known for adding new slang to the British lexicon, but 21-year-old Lucie’s firm insistence that ‘bev’ means a hot man failed to catch on.
ITV
2/20 Amber’s anti-chemistry with Callum
Straight-talking Amber quickly made mincemeat of Callum, the first boy she coupled up with. After correcting him when he said he looked younger than his 28 years, she confirmed it was his wrinkles which were aging him. She would go on to diss his sunglasses before ditching him for Anton during the next coupling.
ITV
3/20 Tommy’s Hannah Montana obsession
Sensitive boxer Tommy has been vocal about his love for Miley Cyrus’ teen sitcom since day one. His fandom reached new heights when he serenaded Curtis with a rendition of her hit song ‘The Climb’ to illustrate his path to winning Lucie’s heart. Aww.
ITV
4/20 The Joe-Tommy-Lucie love triangle
Blonde surfer Lucie was an instant hit in the villa, with almost every boy trying a cheeky graft. She seemed torn between Tommy and Joe, who each went nuclear in their attempt to woo her. Tommy pledged that he would crawl to the moon and back for her after knowing her for around 24 hours. Despite this, Joe’s jealous moping eventually won out.
ITV
5/20 Anton’s unique seduction techniques
The confident Scotsman’s seduction skills manage to be both slippery smooth yet wildly erratic. His mile-a-minute chat has failed to land with any of the Love Island ladies, leading his to receive a cold shoulder from from Lucie, Anna and Mollie Mae.
ITV
6/20 The cowboy challenge
The raunchy challenge saw the boys strip down to chaps and speedos before hopping on a bucking bronco and getting covered in paint splatter. Performances ranged from smooth (Michael and Sherif) to deeply awkward (Callum and Joe).
ITV
7/20 Curtis friendzones Mollie Mae
Amy had a minor wobble when newcomer Mollie Mae picked her man Curtis to join her for a date in the hot tub. She shouldn’t have worried: Curtis firmly friendzoned Mollie Mae and settled in for a gossip about his fellow housemates instead.
ITV
8/20 Anton is disappointed
Anton seemed confident at the first recoupling that pharmacist Anna would choose him. His confident smile on hearing Anna compliment her mystery love’s body quickly turned into disappointment when he realised she had been talking about Sherif.
ITV
9/20 Calum leaves the villa
The aircraft engineer barely seemed to grace our screens before he was ejected after Mollie Mae chose to couple up with Tommy.
ITV
10/20 Tommy makes his first cup of tea
Tommy shocked the nation when he revealed he didn’t know how to make a cup of peppermint tea. With a lot of coaching from Sherif, the boxer managed to impress Mollie Mae without her realising the truth.
ITV
11/20 Tommy convinces himself he made an omelette
Encouraged by his success, Tommy tried to step up his culinary game by impressing Mollie Mae with a breakfast omelette (with Curtis doing the actual cooking.) Tommy even seemed to convince himself that he cooked the omelette, although he was rumbled after Sherif let slip who really made it.
ITV
12/20 Yewande’s quest for love
Gorgeous scientist Yewande had been unlucky in love in the villa – until she was picked for a date by newcomer Danny. The rest of the Islanders encouraged her fledgling romance, from putting in a good word with Danny to criticising Mollie Mae’s attempt to woo the new boy for herself.
ITV
13/20 Sherif’s mystery departure
Nine days into the series Love Island bosses confirmed that Sherif had been suddenly ejected from the show after “breaking the villa rules.” The 20-year-old confirmed his departure was due to his “poor judgement”, but it remains unknown which rule he broke.
ITV
14/20 Curtis and Amy become a half-couple
Amy may have never had a boyfriend before, but she was the first girl to make it official in the villa – sort of. During a date in the hideaway, Curtis asked her to become exclusive, which ended up with her getting the very high school label of ‘half-girlfriend.’
ITV
15/20 Amber opens up
Amber gained a reputation for withering looks and cutting putdowns, but one man was able to get past her icy exterior. Firefighter Michael proved he could take her self-proclaimed diva attitude, and was rewarded – on the second try – with a kiss.
ITV
16/20 Anton’s bad chat gets worse
With Sherif out the villa, Anton resumed his moves on Anna. This time, it went even worse than before, with the Scotsman inadvertently comparing her with Mollie Mae, calling Anna beautiful ‘on the inside’. He thought the chat went well; a dressing down from Amber and Michael soon put him in his place.
ITV
17/20 Tommy’s romantic meal
Tommy was tasked with making a starter for his date with new girl Maura. “I’ve never put so much effort into cheese in my life,” he said, as he carved out lovehearts from limp sliced cheddar. The result, two slices of ketchup and mayo-smeared white bread, proved that Maura’s continuing lust for the 20-year-old boxer is made of powerful stuff.
ITV
18/20 The girls freak out over Maura and Elma
Amber, Yewande and Mollie Mae watched their respective partners meet the new girls from the balcony. “Confident sh*ts,” fumed Amber, while Mollie made fun of their flirty laughter.
ITV
19/20 Michael confronts Amber
Michael brands Amber’s behaviour as “childish” after the beauty therapist heckled his date with Maura.
ITV
20/20 Tommy and Mollie Mae fight
Mollie Mae wasn’t happy when Tommy seemed interested in new girl Maura, and wasn’t afraid to let the boxer know how she felt.
ITV
1/20 Lucie trying – and failing – to make ‘bev’ happen
Love Island is known for adding new slang to the British lexicon, but 21-year-old Lucie’s firm insistence that ‘bev’ means a hot man failed to catch on.
ITV
2/20 Amber’s anti-chemistry with Callum
Straight-talking Amber quickly made mincemeat of Callum, the first boy she coupled up with. After correcting him when he said he looked younger than his 28 years, she confirmed it was his wrinkles which were aging him. She would go on to diss his sunglasses before ditching him for Anton during the next coupling.
ITV
3/20 Tommy’s Hannah Montana obsession
Sensitive boxer Tommy has been vocal about his love for Miley Cyrus’ teen sitcom since day one. His fandom reached new heights when he serenaded Curtis with a rendition of her hit song ‘The Climb’ to illustrate his path to winning Lucie’s heart. Aww.
ITV
4/20 The Joe-Tommy-Lucie love triangle
Blonde surfer Lucie was an instant hit in the villa, with almost every boy trying a cheeky graft. She seemed torn between Tommy and Joe, who each went nuclear in their attempt to woo her. Tommy pledged that he would crawl to the moon and back for her after knowing her for around 24 hours. Despite this, Joe’s jealous moping eventually won out.
ITV
5/20 Anton’s unique seduction techniques
The confident Scotsman’s seduction skills manage to be both slippery smooth yet wildly erratic. His mile-a-minute chat has failed to land with any of the Love Island ladies, leading his to receive a cold shoulder from from Lucie, Anna and Mollie Mae.
ITV
6/20 The cowboy challenge
The raunchy challenge saw the boys strip down to chaps and speedos before hopping on a bucking bronco and getting covered in paint splatter. Performances ranged from smooth (Michael and Sherif) to deeply awkward (Callum and Joe).
ITV
7/20 Curtis friendzones Mollie Mae
Amy had a minor wobble when newcomer Mollie Mae picked her man Curtis to join her for a date in the hot tub. She shouldn’t have worried: Curtis firmly friendzoned Mollie Mae and settled in for a gossip about his fellow housemates instead.
ITV
8/20 Anton is disappointed
Anton seemed confident at the first recoupling that pharmacist Anna would choose him. His confident smile on hearing Anna compliment her mystery love’s body quickly turned into disappointment when he realised she had been talking about Sherif.
ITV
9/20 Calum leaves the villa
The aircraft engineer barely seemed to grace our screens before he was ejected after Mollie Mae chose to couple up with Tommy.
ITV
10/20 Tommy makes his first cup of tea
Tommy shocked the nation when he revealed he didn’t know how to make a cup of peppermint tea. With a lot of coaching from Sherif, the boxer managed to impress Mollie Mae without her realising the truth.
ITV
11/20 Tommy convinces himself he made an omelette
Encouraged by his success, Tommy tried to step up his culinary game by impressing Mollie Mae with a breakfast omelette (with Curtis doing the actual cooking.) Tommy even seemed to convince himself that he cooked the omelette, although he was rumbled after Sherif let slip who really made it.
ITV
12/20 Yewande’s quest for love
Gorgeous scientist Yewande had been unlucky in love in the villa – until she was picked for a date by newcomer Danny. The rest of the Islanders encouraged her fledgling romance, from putting in a good word with Danny to criticising Mollie Mae’s attempt to woo the new boy for herself.
ITV
13/20 Sherif’s mystery departure
Nine days into the series Love Island bosses confirmed that Sherif had been suddenly ejected from the show after “breaking the villa rules.” The 20-year-old confirmed his departure was due to his “poor judgement”, but it remains unknown which rule he broke.
ITV
14/20 Curtis and Amy become a half-couple
Amy may have never had a boyfriend before, but she was the first girl to make it official in the villa – sort of. During a date in the hideaway, Curtis asked her to become exclusive, which ended up with her getting the very high school label of ‘half-girlfriend.’
ITV
15/20 Amber opens up
Amber gained a reputation for withering looks and cutting putdowns, but one man was able to get past her icy exterior. Firefighter Michael proved he could take her self-proclaimed diva attitude, and was rewarded – on the second try – with a kiss.
ITV
16/20 Anton’s bad chat gets worse
With Sherif out the villa, Anton resumed his moves on Anna. This time, it went even worse than before, with the Scotsman inadvertently comparing her with Mollie Mae, calling Anna beautiful ‘on the inside’. He thought the chat went well; a dressing down from Amber and Michael soon put him in his place.
ITV
17/20 Tommy’s romantic meal
Tommy was tasked with making a starter for his date with new girl Maura. “I’ve never put so much effort into cheese in my life,” he said, as he carved out lovehearts from limp sliced cheddar. The result, two slices of ketchup and mayo-smeared white bread, proved that Maura’s continuing lust for the 20-year-old boxer is made of powerful stuff.
ITV
18/20 The girls freak out over Maura and Elma
Amber, Yewande and Mollie Mae watched their respective partners meet the new girls from the balcony. “Confident sh*ts,” fumed Amber, while Mollie made fun of their flirty laughter.
ITV
19/20 Michael confronts Amber
Michael brands Amber’s behaviour as “childish” after the beauty therapist heckled his date with Maura.
ITV
20/20 Tommy and Mollie Mae fight
Mollie Mae wasn’t happy when Tommy seemed interested in new girl Maura, and wasn’t afraid to let the boxer know how she felt.
ITV
3. Are Jordan and Anna a real couple?
The second kiss of the night is slightly more enthusiastic. But again, with lots of awkwardness. Not from Jordan whose smile is even brighter than his ultra-white sweater (I still see the outline when I close my eyes). But Anna seems mildly pleased rather than actively thrilled. Your faith in the redemptive power of love has not been completely restored.
4: Where’s the Yewande-Danny arc heading?
Yewande doesn’t like talking about her feelings. Especially when those feelings have to do with her not fancying Danny. He’s not at all pleased and looks as if he’d rather be paired off with a hair-dryer than with the glamorous scientist. Could a noxious uncoupling be on the cards?
Love Island continues nightly at 9pm on ITV2
