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Boris Actually: He’s the first PM with a girlfriend since Hugh Grant

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Boris Actually: He’s the first PM with a girlfriend since Hugh Grant

The path to true love is often fraught with peril, but Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds took their relationship to a higher level this week.

Amid scenes achingly reminiscent of the hit film Love Actually, they have moved into Downing Street together, putting past troubles behind them and instead investing in the glory of their own union.

In the original 2003 romcom, Hugh Grant plays a handsome, singleton prime minister who falls for the No 10 tea lady, Martine McCutcheon. 

To be fair, the eponymous hero in Boris Actually is not technically single — he is going through a divorce from his second wife and mother of four children, Marina. Meanwhile, Carrie might smart at being depicted as a ‘milk and two sugars’ trolley dolly because, look here, she has a Twitter account and everything

‘If you look for it,’ says drippy Hugh at one point, ‘I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around.’

Let’s imagine, then, the opening moments of Boris Actually when a rapturous Carrie receives homeware deliveries from John Lewis. 

The boxes contain glassware and crockery, along with a jumbo spray of Dabitoff wine stain remover and a large pudding bowl to use when cutting the PM’s hair.

‘Perfect,’ she whispers, caressing the bowl. ‘Now my new life can really begin.’

To be fair, the eponymous hero in Boris Actually is not technically single — he is going through a divorce from his second wife and mother of four children, Marina.

Meanwhile, Carrie might smart at being depicted as a ‘milk and two sugars’ trolley dolly because, look here, she has a Twitter account and everything. 

And after all, the 31-year-old conservationist has devoted her entire professional career to saving endangered species, in this case the Conservative Party.

Golden boy meets flaxen girl and sweeps her into the corridors of power, driven by the touching belief that love and being blond will, somehow, conquer all

Yet despite a few variances, the Love Actually parallels with Boris Actually are clear for all to see — and the drenching romance is irresistible. 

Golden boy meets flaxen girl and sweeps her into the corridors of power, driven by the touching belief that love and being blond will, somehow, conquer all.

The lovebirds leave the cramped South London flat where neighbours spy, plot and eavesdrop — to move into a cramped flat in central London, where the neighbours are even worse. 

Plus there are regular doorstep appearances by an uninvited Kay Burley.

Yet nothing can stop them, not even the smoking ruins of his personal life nor the looming political problems that won’t go away. 

In the face of all this, Boris and Carrie have still clasped their hands together like innocents, and walked into their future as one.

And that is a really beautiful thing, kindling the quiet belief in the most cynical heart that whatever happens next it is love, actually, that will prevail. 

Or will it be Boris, actually? Don’t hold your breath.

Man at No 10: Crease-free or crumpled

On the steps of No 10, both prime ministers wave to adoring crowds — or are they just saying hi to Laura Kuenssberg?

PM Hugh wears a crisp shirt and smart tie with his excellent suit; one that has been beautifully tailored with a crease-free finish. PM Boris, um, does not. 

On the steps of No 10, both prime ministers wave to adoring crowds — or are they just saying hi to Laura Kuenssberg?

Meet Snakehips Hugh Grant . . . and hippo-hipped Boris Johnson

‘Jump if you want to taste my kisses in the night, jump, jump for my love.’ 

Yes, who could forget the scene in Love Actually, when the lonely PM dances through Downing Street to the music of the Pointer Sisters? 

Snake-hipped Hugh made the moment a cinematic classic. Boris tries to emulate this mesmerising display, but he might as well be conducting a brass band. 

Yes, who could forget the scene in Love Actually, when the lonely PM dances through Downing Street to the music of the Pointer Sisters?

Boris tries to emulate this mesmerising display, but he might as well be conducting a brass band

Downing Street’s disco king vs the BoJo Shuffle

Amid No 10’s lemon decor and portraits of leaders past, Hugh is still bopping to the Pointer Sisters on the stairs. 

He is blissfully unaware of a future that contains Brexit, Emily Thornberry and millennial angst. 

Boris shuffles down the same stairs with a heavier heart, hands thrust deep in pockets. 

He has lived the future, and the nightmares that never end. No wonder he looks grim. 

Amid No 10’s lemon decor and portraits of leaders past, Hugh is still bopping to the Pointer Sisters on the stairs

Boris shuffles down the same stairs with a heavier heart, hands thrust deep in pockets. He has lived the future, and the nightmares that never end

Yes, Prime Minister, that’s VERY unparliamentary language

Let me say, without hope or agenda, that behind these two great prime ministers are two great women. 

They stand shoulder to shoulder in support, but like many modern couples no one is afraid to use fruity language to express their deepest feelings. 

‘Oh p*** it,’ said Martine, when she accidentally swore in front of Hugh in Love Actually. 

There have been similar jolly moments in Boris Actually. ‘Get off my f****** laptop,’ he said, during a recent discussion with Carrie. 

‘Oh p*** it,’ said Martine, when she accidentally swore in front of Hugh in Love Actually. There have been similar jolly moments in Boris Actually. ‘Get off my f****** laptop,’ he said, during a recent discussion with Carrie

Politics …it’s a real manila thriller

Pay attention, ladies. To be a prime minister’s consort, you must master the art of looking efficient yet glamorous while carrying an Important Folder. 

Fresh of face, long of hair and dazzling of smile, Carrie Symonds (right) proves that just like Martine McCutcheon (left), she knows how to do it in a fetching fashion, too. 

At Downing Street, this is not a skill to be overlooked. 

Fresh of face, long of hair and dazzling of smile, Carrie Symonds (right) proves that just like Martine McCutcheon (left), she knows how to do it in a fetching fashion, too

Soggy teabags at the Cabinet table

The Love Actually Cabinet assemble. They look focused and smart, keen and capable. 

Look at the precision cut of Hugh’s coiffeur as he questioningly reflects on a policy decision. 

Meanwhile, amid a concertina of crumples and Grant Shapps, the Boris Actually gang can’t believe their luck. 

Not only are they back in the Cabinet, there is a free cuppa, too. Yaroo!

The Love Actually Cabinet assemble. They look focused and smart, keen and capable. Look at the precision cut of Hugh’s coiffeur as he questioningly reflects on a policy decision

Meanwhile, amid a concertina of crumples and Grant Shapps, the Boris Actually gang can’t believe their luck. Not only are they back in the Cabinet, there is a free cuppa, too. Yaroo!

Something’s in the air — open a window!

In Love Actually, PM Hugh Grant shocks tea lady Martine by turning up in a limo to escort her to a Christmas concert. 

Their eyes meet, and she looks like a Snow White who has suddenly realised her Prince Charming is right here. 

In Boris Actually, it appears our hero has had an unfortunate attack of botty burps in an enclosed space. 

Carrie politely leans towards the window. Something is all around her, but is it love?

In Love Actually, PM Hugh Grant shocks tea lady Martine by turning up in a limo to escort her to a Christmas concert

Carrie politely leans towards the window. Something is all around her, but is it love?

Their secret’s finally out! Christmas kisses and Tory balls

Prime Minister Hugh and tea lady Martine are caught kissing onstage during a Christmas concert in Love Actually. 

She doesn’t know what to do! ‘Smile. Bow. Little wave,’ Hugh tells her. 

In Boris Actually, the future PM and Carrie are photographed together for the first time in February 2018, leaving a Tory ball. 

She doesn’t know what to do! ‘Look in your handbag for the foldaway howitzer while I pretend to smile,’ says Boris. 

Prime Minister Hugh and tea lady Martine are caught kissing onstage during a Christmas concert in Love Actually. She doesn’t know what to do! ‘Smile. Bow. Little wave,’ Hugh tells her

In Boris Actually, the future PM and Carrie are photographed together for the first time in February 2018, leaving a Tory ball

Any chance of a hobnob?

‘Who do you have to snog around here to get a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit?’ asks Hugh in Love Actually. 

To be honest, what he said was rather saucier than that, but no one wants to encourage Boris to start thinking along those lines, do we mother? 

‘Who do you have to snog around here to get a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit?’ asks Hugh in Love Actually

To be honest, what he said was rather saucier than that, but no one wants to encourage Boris to start thinking along those lines, do we mother?

Compiled by: Sue Connolly

Script: Jan Moir 

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