1.
This one about an inspiring message:
My 4-yr old just fell off her bike and said, “I fell and it hurt my vagina, but I got right back up.” New motto to live by, ladies.
2.
This one about a lack of trust:
I haven’t seen my vagina in a month. My bf says she’s doing good but what the hell do he know.
3.
This one about attention-seeking:
Me: Alone at last!! No one demanding my attention.
My Vagina: *Ahem*
Me: Really? That’s the second time today. Fine.
4.
This one about how pretty they can be on their own:
5.
This one about a lack of ~action~:
6.
This one about periods:
None of the fellas from the 🏀 pickup game today knew I was gushing blood from my vagina the whole time. Which I think possibly makes me a goddamn a hero?
7.
This one about design flaws:
8.
This one about an ~alternative~ Plan-B (or C?):
9.
This one about underwhelming reality:
i cannot imagine the agony of pushing someone out of my vagina only for them to give me a mug and a box of chocolates 20 years later
10.
This one about trying to make OB/GYN visits more entertaining:
Gynecologist: Ok Kelley, if you’ll just slide all the way down on the table.
My vagina: Oh great, this asshole again?
Gyno:
Me:
Gyno:
Me:
Gyno: Kelley, for the last time stop making your vagina talk. It makes me uncomfortable.
My vagina: Shut up, pussy.
11.
This one about 100% not caring:
12.
This one about catchy phrases:
13.
This one about a vagina analogy:
My vagina is like my body’s draft folder. I don’t really use it enough and I’m often confused about why I put something in there.
14.
This one about a goofy nickname:
I call my vagina Vagyver because it can fix just about anything.
THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING ME.
17.
And finally, this one about being mortally offended:
I once accidentally sent a photo of my vagina to my son’s guidance counselor and she emailed me saying she had received a “very disturbing image” from me and I’m still waiting for an apology.
