FEMI FANI-KAYODE: A QUINTESSENTIAL WEATHER COCK GOES TO HIS NATURAL HABITAT – BIOREPORTS EDITORIAL

One wonders what is newsworthy in the story that former Obasanjo’s attack dog and aviation minister and rehabilitated drug addict, Femi Fani Kayode has rejoined PDP. The big question remains if Fani Kayode was ever in APC? What actually is Fani Kayode’s endless search for personal lucre and fulfillment got to leverage on any political party he chooses to align with? What values does Fani Kayode stand to impart on any political party he chooses to nest in? is it in his infantile and ever irascible rants? Is it in his ability to play the willing attack dog to whoever has the price for his useless masturbations? Is it in the quality advice he stands to leverage on any party? Is it in the rational thinking he does not have? Is it in the ability to shoot excessively on anyone that ruffles his masters’ feathers? Pray, what can Fani Kayode who oscillates to wherever he smells personal interest, like the pendulum of an erratic clock, stand to invest in any group? Nothing, nada! Does Fani Kayode have followers to take to wherever he pitches his nest? He has nobody behind him and that is why his political movements are often the tortured marches of a one-man army, a general without troops, a loner, a selfie and nothing more.

Once again, the unsettled Femi Fani Kayode has returned to the PDP and his movement is quite in tune with his flippant character. Here is a character who believe that he would recruit masters with firing his infantile prates and waiting to be recruited. Fani Kayode has no scruples, he has no shame. He is like a rolling stone. He gathers no moss. He changes views, camps, masters and interests like a weather cock. He is not stable and woes betide whoever takes this character serious. APC did not take him serious because he does not belong to APC. He is a fair weather character-and of course Yoruba land is brimming full with his likes today as Jonathan’s billions of dollars fly around, Yoruba land is today infested with self canonized activists and Afenifere chieftains who are being serviced by the billions of dollars that keep disappearing from the national treasury each passing day under Jonathan’s seedy watch.  This is a report for another day. For now, our focus is on erratic Femi Fani Kayode the character who is today pushing wider the definition of selfish politics. He is said to have dumped APC, a party he never even belonged to in the first place, for the PDP he purportedly left some months ago. You must bet that something has changed hands. We insist that Fani Kayode was never in APC and that is why he is making a noise of having left soon after he purportedly joined. He merely shifted camps, took some of his well known selfish darts at his compatriots in PDP for the purpose of securing something for himself. He had certainly secured it and moved back to base. That is vintage Fani Kayode, a character whose relevance exists on being commissioned to serve as an attack dog and no more.

So what did Fani Kayode bring to the APC with his purported membership? Nothing! What is he taking back to the PDP? The answer is a big NOTHING! He brought nothing and he is taking so his going back to devour his vomit is good riddance to bad rubbish. Let him go and never return. It is certain that, in his usual chance taking character, he has cut a deal for himself. Of course, we do not expect his corruption trial to proceed under a government and party that wear corruption and public stealing like second skin.  We expect that one or two juicy appointments would be thrown his way or better, he would be given his chunk of the stolen dollars that the Jonathan presidency and the PDP are throwing about to purchase support from the South West. But the truth is that Fani Kayode adds no value to any political party except of course, being a loose dog at the beck of call of his master.

Let us take a sneak preview of the character of Femi Fani Kayode. Not that it is necessary but to lay the bare opportunist apart for people to know who he is. Femi was the son of the legendary first republic politician, Remi Fani Kayode. He is what one may call a prodigal son. He was sent to elite schools by his colorful politician father but he ended up an junkie, an irascible drug user. But he was rehabilitated though many still allude to the age old African word of wisdom that if you cure a mental person, you will not successfully cure him from muttering gibberish in describing the controversial public outings of Fani Kayode.

Once, he posed as a Christian evangelist but turned fully in running commentaries in the media where he was sounding so self-righteous that many were fooled by his Christian pretences and many forgot his drug history. On the political sphere, Fani Kayode sounded like a progressives that desired good for his country. He was smoking with self righteousness as he commented on the problems of the country, taking to the cleaners those that he felt contributed to the demolition which is still going on. Obasanjo was his prime target as his regime and its convoluted policies lasted. Femi shot, he pranced, he fired at Obasanjo and nothing was spared.

But it took the dramatic recruitment of Femi by Obasanjo for his real person to unfurl. Femi was recruitment as Special Assistant to Obasanjo and that was enough to set him swirling. He was programmed as an attack dog; to go after all those that questioned the scruples of Obasanjo. Nothing was spared by this voluble attack dog to attack in the most indecent manner anyone who questions the elephantine ego of Obasanjo. Femi attacked Wole Soyinka, he attacked Chinua Achebe, he attacked just everyone that asks questions about his master, Obasanjo. His language was gutterish, his conduct uncouth, he disposition so manner less that many found it hard reconciling the new Femi Fani Kayode with the pious counterfeit that pretended to be genuinely concerned about Nigeria’s problems and finding solutions to them. The complete turn around of Fani Kayode after being recruited by Obasanjo was amazing to those who hitherto followed him before he jumped ship. There is no doubt that he lost almost all of them while he was in government. Yes, he made good for himself and part of the largesse was the aviation money that is now proving to a leash that has been used to drag him back to PDP. Yes, he was further rewarded as any other loyal slave, by Obasanjo when he was made the aviation minister and how he conducted the affairs of the ministry is a subject of court litigation where he is facing dozens of EFCC charges of looting the ministry under his watch.

Not that his accusers are saints. Not that they have scruples. Not that they are ruled by higher values and ideals. But the problem is that a Fani Kayode who started sounding off when he had his sins well documented should not be allowed to take shots at his fellow thieves. That was the reason behind his trial for the PDP is home to multitude of treasury robbers who care about nothing in emptying the national treasury for their selfish ends. Truth is that Fani Kayode made his unproductive entry into APC to atone for the sins he committed against leading progressives and leading Yoruba figures. He wanted his useless entry into APC to be a period of atonement so he will lay another claim to sainthood on national issues and nothing more. Femi did not make his anonymous entry into APC with cahoots of followers for he had none. In fact, he came for rehabilitation and was soon hitting on Jonathan and his band of roguish party men with his fervent gusto. Pronto, they yanked off his files and marched him to court.

Poor Femi, he had no option than to negotiate even before he started the real atonement of his sins. He was dragged by two Abuja lackeys to Abuja to beg and negotiate with Jonathan and pronto, a new song emerged from his mouth! He was ready to forgo his abridged quest for atonement and re-join the gravy train. Sure, it is more profitable. There are tens of billions of dollars waiting for harvesting. Remember the 50, 10 and 20 billion dollars that developed wings from NNPC, among other fonts of officially provoked stealing from the national treasury that have become so common under Jonathan? They are for people like Femi Fani Kayode who have dirt splattered all over them. They certainly would be lured back and fed from that trough, after all, are not some old guard Afenifere and loquacious self-promoted activists not being fed from the same trough?  So it was a choice less offer for Fani Kayode when he was marched by Musliu Obanikoro and Akin Osuntokun to dobale for the commander of thieves and promise to be a good chopper. Poor Femi. He emerged from that meeting a finished man!

So, let Femi go to PDP. That is where he belongs. People like him are great dents on the APC so his leaving is sweet music to all progressives. Let him go to his natural home, to cavort with his soulmates. He would be assured that as a member of the PDP thieving family, his own thefts and sins will gradually be made to die an unnatural death. He would be assured of his own cut of the massive chest the PDP has made of plundering the state treasury. He may even be given an appointment to start his well known scam of abusing the thieving PDP, the Jonathan presidency and whoever does not buy into their rotten misgovernance of the country. Femi is a shameless weathercock; he changes with every wind and oscillates where he feels his self interests are best served. He has no shame, no compunction and no moral lever. He will not be missed because he never belonged to the progressive fold. Above all, he has no army, no legion, no supporter and is home alone in his disgraceful voyage in self fending.

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