Several factors can influence when ejaculation occurs, but it can be controlled with some forethought or, in extreme cases, medical intervention. Here are some strategies for help, listed from easiest to most difficult.
1. Wear a condom. It sounds too simple to be true, but it works for a lot of men. Condoms reduce stimulation for most men, which should prolong the time before ejaculation.
2. Apply strategic pressure. Here are two quick ways to delay ejaculation in the middle of intercourse:
- Perineum pressure: Pressing on the perineum, a spot midway between your scrotum and your anus, will help to stop ejaculation because this spot reaches through to the prostate gland. It is the prostate that contracts and expands during climax and then expels the ejaculation fluid. Ask your partner to apply this loving pressure for you.
- Testes tug: When a man nears climax his scrotum rises up closer to his body. You can delay ejaculation by gently pulling your testes down and away from your body. Your partner can also do this for you.
3. Slow down intercourse. If you’re feeling pressured to perform, you might rush to ejaculation before you’re ready. Try these tips for bringing your anxiety down a notch:
- Take climaxing out of your expectations. Instead of viewing intercourse only as a means of achieving climax, reframe it as relaxing, pleasurable time with your partner that you’ll enjoy regardless of ejaculation. Discuss this new mindset with your partner, so that he or she can stop pressuring you, intentionally or not.
- Think nonsexual thoughts. If you notice yourself getting too excited, stop and turn your attention to something decidedly unsexy, like rush-hour traffic, smarmy politicians, or the old classic, baseball. Only dwell on it long enough to give yourself a short break from arousal, maybe 5 to 10 seconds, then refocus your attention on your partner.
4. Change positions. Some intercourse positions put less pressure on the glans (or the most sensitive part of the man-hood). Here’s what to do:
- Try “passive” positions. Lie beneath your female partner, or try a side-by-side (or spooning) position.
- Avoid “active” positions. Missionary and rear-entry positions place the most stimulation and friction on the glans, so consider taking them off the menu for now.
5. Do PC muscle exercises. Flexing and strengthening your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle can help you exert more control over ejaculation. (Note that these are also called Kegel exercises, which you might have heard about women doing. The muscle is the same in both sexes.)
- Locate your PC muscle. Put one or two fingers right behind your testicles. Pretend that you are urinating, then try to stop the flow with a quick muscle contraction. That muscle you just used to stop the flow from the bladder is your PC muscle.
- Flex the muscle regularly. Try to do 10 to 20 squeezes in a set, 2 or 3 times a day. Do a set whenever you’re bored or stationary — like when you’re sitting at your desk or in traffic. No one will be able to see that you’re doing them.
- Squeeze your PC muscle when you feel ejaculation coming on. Once the muscle is strong enough, you should be able to hold it off.
6. Know when to see a doctor. If you routinely release less than a minute and a half after beginning vaginal intercourse, and none of the above fixes have worked, it might be time to see a medical professional. You can visit a s*x therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist for help.